Maybe this is the thing about life, that we are all going to die.. or as some saying goes, that the only truth about life is death.. the rest is merely interpretation of different point of views, that are usually shaped based on life experiences you came across. And as you embrace the idea that time is always elapsing, you may give up the idea of many things that might be hindering your progress, which is by far easier to realize after you reach your 30s
Been almost 10 days in Stockholm, and to be honest i loved the amazing balance and self acceptance that people have adopted here. They do have everything, but not much of anything.. just the right amount of whatever you need to be happy. They are not over-doing or over-living life but rather just doing what suffice to be happy. They have the right balance between life and work, the right balance of not commercializing life and not charging you for every single thing that you do, just because you happen to exist in Stockholm..
When i look back in time, and in particular 3 years back before moving to Doha; i had a lot of unlearning to do once i moved, i believe i gave up a lot of the misconceptions related to religion. In terms of being conscious about my faith, and practicing it from a different angle, from an angle of testing my values, principles and faith, rather than just blindly doing what my ancestors and society used to do without putting it to test..
Of the great discoveries i found that most of our beliefs are so fragile, that mostly collapses when you get them to the real-life test, and that most of the time it’s only matter of convenience to say that you’re a believer, rather than explaining why you don’t believe it. What i could see based on my recent experience that has resulted losing my job for standing by the right side on my own, that people are not willing to put their faith to test, because they are subconsciously non-believers, rather than conformists. They are so afraid to put their faith to test, cause they do not want to collapse before them, if the results came different from their expectations, afraid to fall short.
Of the striking truth that i realized was that some of the commonly things that are identified by society as sins, doesn’t really feel like a sin. As much as it terrifies me that some of the aspects of religion has been under great misconduct, as part of our sponge nature of absorbing whatever our society brings to us. It looks like we have absorbed a lot of disappointment wrapped with illiteracy, and served on a platter of ignorance and lack of knowledge. but it still lays a lot of burden of the probability of being wrong, but then again i realized that my guts can still guide me about the right and wrong, and if i am compelled by the fear of being wrong, i could just drop it and not do it.
But i could still be the turning point of my tree, if i ever thought about having a kid, which i consider as the light at the end of the tunnel for my generation, and as an inheritor of my Egyptianized roots. My father did the same, he had his faith between his hands and decided to be different from his family, and taught himself by himself and did the best he knew at every point of his life. i believe he did a great job on being the new roots stem from his family, that has viewed the world from a slightly more broad point of view, in comparison to his roots..
I would still do the basic things that doesn’t need much of rethinking, like the prayers and fasting, as there isn’t much of innovation or way of doing the pillars of Islam than this, and it should not be reworked anyways, we should just follow it. Apart from that, the grey areas where we get lost between being a wrong misconduct naturally passed from generation to the next. i found this easy rule, if it doesn’t make sense to you, then it probably has been set based on people’s self judgement that serves their own agendas at a point of time, and to be honest.. most of the time it is. The only drawback fo this approach, that you’ll never know really if you’re right or wrong, unless it’s time to be judged before God. But if it brings you more fears than the pleasure of doing it, then just don’t..
This approach has not stopped me from also working on refining things that my mind fails to comprehend, cause not everything in religion has to make sense to you, some of it, if not most are just their obedience. Plus, if it’s really clear in the Koraan, then there’s no need really to rethink it. Eventually you’re not God, you are just resemble one facade of God. As much as this new rule leaves me a broader room of freedom to experience life, as much as it burdens me to think of all that..
But then again.. my life, my choices..
Till next time